MeowStack #6: Loki and Thor are silently judging you

And they clearly find you lacking

What is your name, and why are you the most magnificent creature in the universe?

We are Loki (left) and Thor (right).

Loki: My hooman calls me a heart cat. I don’t know what that means, but I do think my hooman is the greatest hooman that ever existed (and obviously I am right because I am a cat). I am always nearby and super affectionate, but only to my hooman. No one else deserves to experience my magnificence.

Thor: I am a love bug and insist on all the cuddles. I don’t want you to feel icky. I love everyone.

How did you choose your human to be your supplicant?

Loki: I claimed my hooman the moment they arrived at the Humane Society. I wanted nothing to do with anyone else’s greasy hands, and I still don’t! Over time, however, I have warmed up to a select few other hoomans.

What is the most amusing way you confound your human?

We are both nosy AF. Whenever we hear banging, large vehicles, heavy equipment, yelling, or somebody coming up the drive, we whip the curtains open and look out. Then we sit in the window and blatantly judge. Most cats take off when they hear scary noises, but not us. We are superior to most cats in every way.

By what means will you inevitably achieve world domination?

Loud demands, biting, patting, head butting, and stomping on things. We are bullies, and we don’t take “no” for an answer. If all else fails, we’ll trip you to your death on the stairs.

What else does the world need to know about you?

Loki: We are the best floofs ever. Behold my amazing tail!

Thor: The white spot in my “mantle” is getting bigger and more magnificent with age. My hooman says that maybe when I’m elderly, I’ll look like a skunk. Pah! Skunks should be honored at the chance to resemble me.

Loki and Thor’s hooman is not on Substack, but you can find them on Instagram at @sinister.sundrop.

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