MeowStack #1: Norman Elizabeth is a very handsome cat
Even dog people think so
What is your name, and why are you the most magnificent creature in the universe?
I am Norman Elizabeth Marchessault aka "The Norms." Humans often remark that I am a handsome cat — even dog owners at the vet. My second favorite staff member constantly tells me I am a very handsome boy. She is also preternaturally obsessed with the stripe under my chin which, I am told, is remarkable. Also, I have a month named after me: Normsvember.
How did you choose your human to be your supplicant?
After headbutting various humans in the neighborhood and attempting to enter a few of their homes, I chose my supplicants based on their availability to pet me. My favorite staff member rises at 5:00 am, sometimes earlier. The other staff member is available throughout the day to scratch my back, rub my chin and come running when I'm on my catio and call for backup after seeing another cat in my yard.
What is the most amusing way you confound your human?
You may not believe this, but sometimes my tail turns into a snake and taunts me. When it tries to escape, I have to chase it around, do a somersault and bite it.
By what means will you inevitably achieve world domination?
To be honest, world domination does not interest me. I have a very full life: snoozing in sun puddles, chasing leaves, chewing on my toes and keeping my humans from working too much. My goal in life is to love and be loved.
What else does the world need to know about you?
Every part of me is pettable. I like having my nose rubbed. If my staff members are petting some other part of me that is not my nose, I will rub it against the edge of a desk or table. You can also pet inside my ears and massage my brain. The only part of me you cannot pet is the inside of my mouth.
Norman’s human is Megan Denny, who is not on Substack but shares many photos of Norman’s gloriousness as @themadhapa on Instagram.
Looks like a very distinguished gentleman.
Nice to meet you Norman.